BULLSHIT

That is complete bullshit. I quit. Can't an NPC quit? PCs quit games all the time in the middle. They killed me.

BCDM KILLED ME. THAT IS COMPLETE CRAP.

I'M FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THE SMARMY LITTLE DESCENTINTODEPTHS BS. THEY HAVE THE UTTER WORST DM. I'd like to make a citizen's arrest of their DM for being completely retarded. No, I'm sorry, strike that from the record, that gives retarded people a bad name. BCDMM, actually why don't you get yourselves a DM with Down syndrome? He'd be much much better than the ignorant, rules-fudging, cheesy-ass dork you currently have. God. GOD.

So this is great. Now what? Well I'm dead, readers, so don't expect me to post a lot. No no, I'm not in hell. Please, I was a good man, a FAMILY man, a PRODUCTIVE man. I was trying to save the world for crying out loud! And speaking of crying, I just want to make it clear that I didn't cry. The DM said I cried but I didn't. He's just a big liar. I said all that other stuff though. Oh, and Marivhon? Sorry to break your fragile heart, but I'm not really your dad. Like I'd have you as a son. I just said that to buy some time while Cinder touched himself and asked a zombie for advice. God, if you were my son I'd just abort. You know, just try again. ABORT MISSION. Yes I mean that dear readers. I'm not a vocal advocate of abortion as you may know, but I would definitely take exception if Marivhon would be the outcome. And whoever Marivhon's real father is, I'm sorry, you must be so ashamed of your retarded baby.

Well, readers, the afterlife is sort of like a giant airport. There are a lot of people just sort of wandering around down here. Did the God of Death just quit or something? It seems awfully disorganized. I'm here at a coffee shop using their computer. I bet you thought I was going to say 'I was at a Starbucks' and make a joke that those Starbucks shops are everywhere these days. But nope, it's not a Starbucks, it's called 'Coffee Chateau'. (I never heard of it either.)

But it seems that this is the only computer with internet access around, so there were about thirty other dead people waiting in line. And it's just slow, I'm actually using a modem with 2400 bps. 2400 bps. I died and went to 1987.

Well, I was murdered. That's that. It was unfair and the DM and the PCs are cheaters, but there's no point in whining about it because THEY SUCK anyway. So, sorry everyone, but you'll just have to find someone else to take care of the Knights of Armek. At least the Church of Grisbane is making owlbears, but you know what? I really don't care. I'M DEAD. I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE LIVING ANYMORE.

It looks like my 30 minutes is almost up, so I need to sign off. I'll try to post if anything interesting happens, or at least let you know what the rest of the underworld is like, my friends in the 'blogosphere'.

GV.

This is so LAME

Well dear readers, thought I'd take a minute to post here and tell you what's going on. In case you didn't catch all that over at nerd central, aka "descent into depths", I'm facing off against BCDM. They totally suck though and fucked it up. Actually, I thought I was a goner, but now it's looking a bit better for the home team, fingers crossed, knock on wood, etc. Leave it to them to fuck up a sure thing, am I correct? As that insipid hippie Gregolas would say, "I know you feeling me".

Please don't 'feel me'.

Anyway, Cinder apparently got grounded by his dad and can't go to the internet gaming cafe to log on and tell us what he's doing. I think he's fixing a window or something and can't really come to the phone right now. Whenever I feel rather proud of myself, I think about how this collection of complete dorks has foiled most (but not all) of my plans. Then again, when I'm feeling down, at least I know I'm better than them, so it helps. I guess it all equalizes in the end. I mean, did you guys read that where they went to that eyesore that is the 'Tower of Illusion' (ugh) and disguised themselves as bugbears? That was lame, but that's not my point. Did you catch that 'riddle' that they had to answer at the door. What a joke! Any high-performer special needs first-grader could answer that riddle. I'm surprised Stanislaus didn't just go for a knock-knock joke and get it over with. 'The moon'??!! I think that's the worst riddle I've ever heard. And I'm sure BCDM were so proud of themselves, able to answer that.

You know guys, I'm the Burghermeister of Grito. I'm a senior partner with the Church of Grisbane. I have SHIT TO DO. Can we please just wrap this up? I've got a stack of things in my inbox that require some attention. Thanks in advance.

Burghermeister G. Vrill