Brave adventures!
Hello again, world-wide-friends. Vrill here to provide a belated update as to the status of my new adventures.
But first off, what the deuce is going on over at Descent Into Depths? (Check the link at the right 'A sad little story...' to pay a visit. Be warned, though, the site is an EYESORE. The background is pink for the love of all that's holy. Pink! Not exactly the most heroic color. Then again, what goes on over there is a far cry from 'heroic'. I hope to remedy that situation in my own travels and conquests though. I suppose it helps, being a high level magic-user with access to lots of resources, spells, potions, ad infinitum, as opposed to living on a farm run by a kobold slave (my ex-assistant, by odd circumstance) and a hippie DRUG ABUSER.
Kids, JUST SAY NO.
HELL NO.)
Anyway, there are a couple of new guys who've signed up to play their farcical game! Unbelieveable! Listen, newbs, if you're reading this: you really don't know what you're in for. Quit now while you still have a soul. Actually I mean that 100% LITERALLY. Didn't you read the posts? You're hanging out with a bunch of SOULLESS DEMON WORSHIPPERS. Isn't that exactly the sort of thing that the mothers of the world were concerned about with this whole 'Dungeons and Dragons' game in the first place? Now it's come true. Think of your families. Think of your children. The measely xp you're going to earn slaughtering innocents, it's not worth it.
This will end in jail time, sirs. It's happened before. Your new 'friends'? It's true, I have the papers, they've spent time in JAIL for crime and murder.
Well, I've said my peace. But I have more important things to worry about then... wait a minute, they're rebuilding the temple to Zelba? With that awful illusionist? Fantastic. Just what we need, another crappy dungeon. Good going.
Anyway, I've been having some exciting, high-level adventures of my own. Many of my comrades didn't make it, succumbing to traps or powerful adversaries, but by my own cunning, efficient utilization of resources, and dare I say, some good rolling, I've succeeded at infiltrating the ruined city of Greyhelm! Knights of Armek plague the streets, but I've managed to make it to Castle Greyhelm itself. My suspicions have proved to be true... there are people trapped inside! A magical barrier blocks the entrance, and so I now labor to get it down so that I might venture inside, free the good, LAW-ABIDING citizens, and destroy the Knights. At last. Of course it would come down to this... it always does. My most ingenious plans and contraptions of no use, finally... it comes down to rolling dice in a massive, epic, big-boss end fight.
Bring it on, I say.
Bring it on.
But first off, what the deuce is going on over at Descent Into Depths? (Check the link at the right 'A sad little story...' to pay a visit. Be warned, though, the site is an EYESORE. The background is pink for the love of all that's holy. Pink! Not exactly the most heroic color. Then again, what goes on over there is a far cry from 'heroic'. I hope to remedy that situation in my own travels and conquests though. I suppose it helps, being a high level magic-user with access to lots of resources, spells, potions, ad infinitum, as opposed to living on a farm run by a kobold slave (my ex-assistant, by odd circumstance) and a hippie DRUG ABUSER.
Kids, JUST SAY NO.
HELL NO.)
Anyway, there are a couple of new guys who've signed up to play their farcical game! Unbelieveable! Listen, newbs, if you're reading this: you really don't know what you're in for. Quit now while you still have a soul. Actually I mean that 100% LITERALLY. Didn't you read the posts? You're hanging out with a bunch of SOULLESS DEMON WORSHIPPERS. Isn't that exactly the sort of thing that the mothers of the world were concerned about with this whole 'Dungeons and Dragons' game in the first place? Now it's come true. Think of your families. Think of your children. The measely xp you're going to earn slaughtering innocents, it's not worth it.
This will end in jail time, sirs. It's happened before. Your new 'friends'? It's true, I have the papers, they've spent time in JAIL for crime and murder.
Well, I've said my peace. But I have more important things to worry about then... wait a minute, they're rebuilding the temple to Zelba? With that awful illusionist? Fantastic. Just what we need, another crappy dungeon. Good going.
Anyway, I've been having some exciting, high-level adventures of my own. Many of my comrades didn't make it, succumbing to traps or powerful adversaries, but by my own cunning, efficient utilization of resources, and dare I say, some good rolling, I've succeeded at infiltrating the ruined city of Greyhelm! Knights of Armek plague the streets, but I've managed to make it to Castle Greyhelm itself. My suspicions have proved to be true... there are people trapped inside! A magical barrier blocks the entrance, and so I now labor to get it down so that I might venture inside, free the good, LAW-ABIDING citizens, and destroy the Knights. At last. Of course it would come down to this... it always does. My most ingenious plans and contraptions of no use, finally... it comes down to rolling dice in a massive, epic, big-boss end fight.
Bring it on, I say.
Bring it on.
posted by Master Gregory Vrill at 12:51 PM
7 Comments:
you know you are bottle 97 right?
I have no idea what you're even talking about, you odd person. GYOB (Get Your Own Blog).
It's being brought Vrill. It's being brought...
Hey Vrill, we've kind-of met once now, and I thought it would only be appropriate for me to say hi. Hi. Y'know, because next time we meet, it's likely to be a lot less genial, and a lot more violent. You're an adventurer, aren't you, Vrill? Boy, have I got a blade for you. Hope you want "Greensleeves" played at your funeral, punk.
I like how you guys have a bunch of new 1st level want-to-be fanboys hanging out with you.
If the Fireball doesn't mop them up, a Sleep spell shall tidy up your party nicely. In the meantime, I've actually got stuff to do?!, so excuse me while I get back to my web-blogging.
And I'm not technically an adventurer. I'm an NPC who's been forced to save the world because you morons can't seem to figure it out.
yeah good job saving the royal family that is still in the castle you fuckwad. You know you daughter is 98 right?
Hmmm.
Jail time for murder? Yes, we spent a little time in jail. If memory serves, however, the murder was committed by you, fucktard - Mike the thief became Mike the Zombie. I mean, if you're going to be a weasly douchebag, that's all fine. Just don't be a Hypocritical lying weasly doucebag, hey? That's all I ask.
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