Illusionists are gay
So did you hear the news? ABCDMM just MURDERED THE MAYOR OF GRITO.
In case you missed that:
ABCDMM JUST MURDERED MAYOR BRODERICK THE MAYOR OF GRITO.
And now they're having an election for the new mayor. If I didn't 1) hate Grito and 2) think that this whole election thing is bogus and 3) was sure to be assaulted by ABCDMM, I'd consider running for mayor. I know Grito, I've got credentials, I can do the job.
Sigh. In all honesty though, I have to admit the choice of Ronald Greetles is a good one. For those of you who don't know, Mr. Greetles was my personal assistant for several years. Let's make that clear, he wasn't a Guildmember, not the Assistant Guildmaster, but the Assistant to the Guildmaster. Kinda like that Mike Brown guy, except actually pretty darn good at his job. I could always count on Mr. Greetles to get the job done, done well, and done on time. So I'll be voting for Mr. R. Greetles come election day. By absentee ballot of course.
Also a consideration here is who the other candidates are. Yes, a kobold assistant may not be the best guy to run Grito, a town with more than its share of trouble. Fortunately, it's unlikely ABCDMM will murder Greetles even after he becomes mayor. Unfortunately, this might mean Greetles will be a puppet governor under ABCDMM, but that's probably giving those PC fuckers much more credit than they deserve. Anyway, the blacksmith and the nephew guy aren't horrible choices, but also have negligible experience suitable for the job.
But who the hell is this Stanislaus guy?! An illusionist? Building a "Tower of Illusion"? That is the most retarded thing I've heard since I was fooled into thinking Master Meifer was a real Guildsman. Illusionists are completely lame. They're just horrible, third-chair mages. You get two saves vs their spells, one against the spell like normal, and another bonus save against the LAME ILLUSION MAGIC. Can I disbelieve in this guy altogether and just be done with it?
One more piece of evidence that the GM here is creatively bankrupt. "Tower of Illusion." That is so sad. A bet there's going to be a mimic and a lurker above. Plus, oh I don't know, maybe some GAY ILLUSIONS? "It's an illusionary carpet, over a 10' pit! I am the ROXXOR!"
So look, guys, if you're reading this. I know we've had our disagreements. I utterly and completely hate you, for well-defined reasons. You hate me too, I'm okay with that, because you guys are evil murdering lowlife scum. But if you happen to murder this illusionist guy? That's okay by me. Just consider it, doing him in, as a matter of principle. The principle being: ILLUSIONISTS SUCK. It'll be like you're doing him a favor, you can Animate Dead him and your zombie thief guy can have a pal.
Peace.
In case you missed that:
ABCDMM JUST MURDERED MAYOR BRODERICK THE MAYOR OF GRITO.
And now they're having an election for the new mayor. If I didn't 1) hate Grito and 2) think that this whole election thing is bogus and 3) was sure to be assaulted by ABCDMM, I'd consider running for mayor. I know Grito, I've got credentials, I can do the job.
Sigh. In all honesty though, I have to admit the choice of Ronald Greetles is a good one. For those of you who don't know, Mr. Greetles was my personal assistant for several years. Let's make that clear, he wasn't a Guildmember, not the Assistant Guildmaster, but the Assistant to the Guildmaster. Kinda like that Mike Brown guy, except actually pretty darn good at his job. I could always count on Mr. Greetles to get the job done, done well, and done on time. So I'll be voting for Mr. R. Greetles come election day. By absentee ballot of course.
Also a consideration here is who the other candidates are. Yes, a kobold assistant may not be the best guy to run Grito, a town with more than its share of trouble. Fortunately, it's unlikely ABCDMM will murder Greetles even after he becomes mayor. Unfortunately, this might mean Greetles will be a puppet governor under ABCDMM, but that's probably giving those PC fuckers much more credit than they deserve. Anyway, the blacksmith and the nephew guy aren't horrible choices, but also have negligible experience suitable for the job.
But who the hell is this Stanislaus guy?! An illusionist? Building a "Tower of Illusion"? That is the most retarded thing I've heard since I was fooled into thinking Master Meifer was a real Guildsman. Illusionists are completely lame. They're just horrible, third-chair mages. You get two saves vs their spells, one against the spell like normal, and another bonus save against the LAME ILLUSION MAGIC. Can I disbelieve in this guy altogether and just be done with it?
One more piece of evidence that the GM here is creatively bankrupt. "Tower of Illusion." That is so sad. A bet there's going to be a mimic and a lurker above. Plus, oh I don't know, maybe some GAY ILLUSIONS? "It's an illusionary carpet, over a 10' pit! I am the ROXXOR!"
So look, guys, if you're reading this. I know we've had our disagreements. I utterly and completely hate you, for well-defined reasons. You hate me too, I'm okay with that, because you guys are evil murdering lowlife scum. But if you happen to murder this illusionist guy? That's okay by me. Just consider it, doing him in, as a matter of principle. The principle being: ILLUSIONISTS SUCK. It'll be like you're doing him a favor, you can Animate Dead him and your zombie thief guy can have a pal.
Peace.
posted by Master Gregory Vrill at 8:19 PM
2 Comments:
Oh yeah, and the werewolf thing? It wasn't me.
interesting read. I would love to follow you on twitter.
Post a Comment
<< Home