Well what do you know
Hi all, Vrill here. So I've had some down time, done a lot of thinking. I've been writing a little, actually- no, obviously not in my weblog, just my private thoughts, and it's helped. In fact, I have to admit that I sort of forgot about this 'e-journal', until last night when I was 'surfing the web' and found the weblog of those guys who, well, if you're an old timer here on the Potion Guild blog, you'll know who I mean by 'those guys'.
So I told them off, on their very own blog! Heh heh.
Anyway, the weather's been pretty nice, so I've been outside a little, catching some rays and such. I forgot how nice it is when no one's trying to wreck your life.
In other news, I quit the Potion Guild. Yes, officially! Can you believe it?! My last Apprentice, Steve, his work will be overseen by Master P now. Too bad, because it was just getting exciting. I mean, not that Master Parsifal isn't a great advisor! Just that I won't be there to watch it blossom.
Adios, amigos.
V.
So I told them off, on their very own blog! Heh heh.
Anyway, the weather's been pretty nice, so I've been outside a little, catching some rays and such. I forgot how nice it is when no one's trying to wreck your life.
In other news, I quit the Potion Guild. Yes, officially! Can you believe it?! My last Apprentice, Steve, his work will be overseen by Master P now. Too bad, because it was just getting exciting. I mean, not that Master Parsifal isn't a great advisor! Just that I won't be there to watch it blossom.
Adios, amigos.
V.
posted by Master Gregory Vrill at 10:45 PM
9 Comments:
See, the point of my post, which I guess you missed, here, I'll html tag it for you:
I DON'T HAVE ANY EVIL PLANS. And I never have. You killed LG priests! Who were my friends! Now who's evil?
Oh, this is pointless. But never fear, that fireball is locked and loaded.
Locked and loaded.
Hey there friend. Maybe you forgot about how your owlbears attacked us first in Grito. Then they attacked in town and we fought with the gaurds of Grito to take them down. But wait! That's what they're supposed to do isn't it? Kill people so the scared townsfolk have to buy your crappy pro-owlbear potions.
And what happens when we do nothing but defend ourselves and get captured by you? You murder our fucking friend right before our eyes!! We're chaotic evil?! My ass we are. Try neutral evil jackass, and besides, this kinda sounds like the pot calling the kettle black.
So in short, you can go a little easier on the feigned indignation, and a little heavier on the 'learning how to cast fireball,' cause trust me, you'll need it. This is about revenge, and we're not stopping till we get it. You'll know we've met again when you look down to see the tip of a longsword poking through your belly.
Ever think about your wife and kids? I don't.
Fuck you,
Cinder >:)
or how bout this one is you:
<8P
yea that's you with the dunce cap and glasses and your tounge lolling out of your mouth you dumbass.
Steve, you should stay out of this. Those guys are killers. Besides, it's not nice to feed the TROLLS or we'll have a 'flame war' on my blog which is not the purpose. Sigh. (Oh, and Steve? I can hear you just fine you don't have to SHOUT.)
Anyway, Cinder, I don't need to learn Fireball because I already learned it. I'm currently researching 4th level spells, I'll have you know, spells of power like Dimension Door or Polymorph Other (i.e., Cinder into dust).
What's the matter? Traffic too high over at your Dungeons and Dragons weblog so you had to come over here to bother me? Alright, two can play that game. Here's an adventure for you.
BROGG: I shit on Vrill's gardenias!
CINDER: HAhHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
[An enraged Guildmaster calmly steps out of the manor, leveling a steely gaze at the two PCs.]
MASTER VRILL: Despoilers! Demon-spawn SOBs! Know that your time on earth has come to an end! Look at me, and see your doom in ancient yet timeless magics of old!
[Initiative.]
BROGG: Rolled a 3.
CINDER: Rolled a 1.
MASTER VRILL: 7. I guess I go first. How about a Shield spell to start things off? [Casts Shield, a powerful 1st level Abjuration spell of defense.]
BROGG: Attack, rolled a 10. Miss.
CINDER: Critical fumble.
MASTER VRILL: I decline to attack back. My turn again, already? I cast...
...
Fireball!
[Rolls 5... or is it 6? d6...]
MASTER VRILL: 27 hp damage!
BROGG: Oof, I died.
CINDER: Me too.
[Master Vrill gets 320 xp.]
Indeed.
Umm, I just kind of stumbled onto your blog here and I was reading the comments.
This Vrill guy cast Fireball with two people in melee with him, so he totally Fireballed himself too. Kind of dumb if you ask me.
Well hi there Allen, thanks for offering you two coppers but no thanks.
First off, don't forget that in our little simulated fracas, I had a Shield spell up. Now, I don't know how they do things over in your neck of the woods, friend Allen, but over here, a Shield spell acts as a physical barrier of force. Hence the large bonus to one's armor class. And clearly I had the Shield angled at my two attackers, who seemed to be rather unstrategic, both coming at me from the front.
But this is all academic. For you see, Allen, as a non-weapon proficiency, I have Spellshaping. I have a few other NWPs also, it's one of the nice things about being a Potion Guild Guildmaster, as maybe you were or were not aware. Special training is all subsidized by the Guild. So unlike a certain set of PCs, I don't have to go raping my way across Grito to get the funds to special train and gain bonus NWPs.
Spellshaping, as perhaps you may know, allows me to shape the AOE of a spell that I cast in such a way as I please. So clearly I cast the fireball such that Brogg and Cinder were at the very edge of the AOE, and I was untouched. Fireball, good Allen, is not 'fuzzy'. There is no 'hotspot' in the center with big bonus damage dice, which decays exponentially with distance. It is a uniform sphere (or whatever shape I desire to Spellshape it into).
My third and final argument as to my success hinges on the annals of Brogg and Cinder's idiotic blog, which I have perused so as to gain an advantage over my self-declared enemies. Perhaps if you'll take the time to, RTFM, as we say on the internet, you'd have noticed a warning given by Priest Arvid to Brogg regarding one certain Flamestrike scroll, namely, that alchemists tend to have protective magics to protect them from fire . As I do. If you'd prefer to play straight 1st ed rules, with no such NWPs as Spellshaping, fine. I was in the AOE. However, I then took half damage, while Brogg and Cinder obviously failed their saves and died.
In short, I survived, QED. Thanks for playing. Next question.
Sorry, that should be:
'your two coppers'.
V.
Oh, and Cinder? Here's a picture of you after I give you a black eye.
;(
Okay, or here's another adventure.
Brogg, Cinder, and their new good pal Allen are walking down the corridor.
Two goblins, 1-1 HD variety, jump out.
BROGG: I wet my pants and scream like a girl.
CINDER: I pick my pocket.
ALLEN: I apologize for my friends behavior and berate the webmaster.
The goblins shoot Brogg for 3 hp and Cinder for 4 hp. They cry in pain.
Okay Cinder, you're crossing the line. I made no such spell, and if you persist in antagonizing me and making up LIES I will sue you for libel. You should know that I contacted a lawyer about libel laws and he said that weblogs have fewer protected rights than if you were, say, publishing a newspaper, and that if you keep it up, it's libel and I'll see you in a court of law.
Actually, if it wasn't so important that I stay in hiding and if I didn't fear for my life, I'd press charges for murder, theft, and destruction of private property. And slander.
You have been warned. You too Brogg.
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